Father Figures

What does it mean to be a father figure? Is it something you earn or is it automatic when you become a father? I know some mother's that have taken on the role of father figure.... so I don't believe it has to be specific to men.  But for this blog that is who I am referring to. 

In my own life, my mother and father seperated when I was still a baby.  Although I have seen him once or twice a year since then- he hasn't played the father role in my life. He was more like an uncle.
My mother re-partnered shortly after seperating from my father and she had 2 more children with her second partner.  I cannot remember a time before my step-father and yet we never developed a healthy relationship.  It always seemed to me as a child that he and his family were not interested in me once my younger sister came along.  She was blood, I was not.  The relationship between him and my mother was also always strained and I guess as someone who felt she didnt have a father figure I stuck to my Mum's side- no matter what.
My mother seperated from my step-father finally when I was 16/17.  By that time, I considered myself grown-up and I guess I felt I didn't need a father figure.  In terms of other male relatives- I had little to nothing to do with my father's family or my step-father's family.  My mother has an adopted brother but he is only about 7 years older than me and has always felt more like a cousin.... 

My mother's parents are also seperated.  This happened many years before my birth, so on that side I have always considered myself to have two grandfathers.   My mother's father lived in Melbourne for a long time and when I was quite young we were very close- he moved to Queensland, and the distance combined with my growing up put us further apart.  Mum's step-father is still married to her mother.  I am close with my grandmother and I think particularly due to feeling rejected by my step-father's family I spent a lot of time with her and my step-grandfather.  However, many people in the family do not think highly of my step-grandfather and I think this has always been an invisible wall between us.
So do I have a father figure in my life?  Do I need one?  Perhaps my mother provided me with as much of a father figure as I needed?

As someone about to become a parent for the first time, I have spent a lot of hours in the past few months thinking about parenting roles.  Having a distanced relationship with my father- I imagine his involvement as a grandparent might be limited.  My partner has a strained relationship with his father also, and as we are expecting a boy I guess I was concerned about senior male role models for my son.  My partner will be an excellent parent and a wonderful father figure- but having in many ways lacked one in his upbringing or at best had a poor one- I wonder how this will impact.

I don't know if I would be a different person for having had a strong father figure in my life- but I look around and I see they do exist.  And they don't have to be men who are fathers.  They might be step-fathers or uncles, or family friends.  They might be strong single mothers or even gay partners.
I guess the most important part is that the child is loved and supported by whomever is in his or her life.
:)